I WAITED A WHOLE WEEK FOR THIS AND I AM DISAPPOINTED. My boyfriend is all “No this episode was great, and blah-blah character development, and deep shit and etc” AND I’M JUST LIKE, “BUT I SAW NO TITTIES.” And I mean not like I 100% expected to but I DID EXPECT AND ALWAYS EXPECT THEM TO GET THE FUCK DOWN AND DIRTY BEFORE MY OWN EYES AND I WILL ALWAYS BE BUTTHURT WHEN THEY DON’T. UGH.
ANYWAY - this episode begins with a random bitch bleeding from her vagina at her preppy, rich-ass dinner table. Yeah IDK either.
I’m super enjoying my new recapping time, JOIN ME, WILL YOU?
This episode opens on Rachel sleeping in like a bum. ~Logan~, the adulterer, brutally awakens her via buzzing phone call at the ripe time of 9:05am. Which we see on this TOTALLY BITCHIN’ WOOD CLOCK, SOMEBODY TELL ME WHERE I CAN BUY THIS I AM 100% SERIOUS:
She loses her shit, obviously, and then loses it even more because it turns out Mike SABOTAGED her by turning off her alarm on PURPOSE. Who the fuck does that, especially to someone who works for HARVEY SPECTER. That’s a deal-breaker, ladies. He tells her to ask him for a day off. Lol, let me know how that works out for you. Spoilers: it doesn’t.
Um okay so I realize this is a trailer and not an episode but it ABSOLUTELY belongs on wtfdidimiss because IT’S IMPORTANT SHIT.
My baby, Lisa Edelstein, makes a TRIUMPHANT return to television, getting herself in all sorts of sassy situations and looking like a total hot angel whilst doing so. BEHOLD:
LET’S BREAK IT DOWN. Basically she is perfect (the trailer uses text to point out all the ways in which her life is perfect, an A+ strategy for the n00bs at home). She’s got this great career and presh-looking family, but we know something’s off when her son tells us he loves the smell of his own farts. Like this is our first red flag.